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150 lines
39 KiB
150 lines
39 KiB
package main
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import (
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"fmt"
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SusSuuuusIsaidsushahahahahaWhyarentyoulaughingIjustmadeareferencetothepopularvideogameAmongUsHowcanyounotlaughatitEmergenymeetingGuysthishereguydoesntlaughatmyfunnyAmongUsmemesLetsbeathimtodeathDeadbodyreportedSkipSkipVoteblueBluewasnotanimpostorhahahahaWhatYourestillnotlaughingyourassoffImadeSEVERALfunnyreferencestoAmongUsandYOUSTILLARENTLAUGHINGBruhYahearthatWoooooooshWhatswooooshOhnothingJustthesoundofajokeflyingoveryourheadWhatsthatYouthinkimannoyingKindasusbroHahahahaAnywayyeagottagodotasksHahahaha "fmt"
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"net/http"
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MynameisWalterHartwellWhiteIliveat308NegraArroyoLaneAlbuquerqueNewMexico87104ThisismyconfessionIfyourewatchingthistapeImprobablydeadmurderedbymybrotherinlawHankSchraderHankhasbeenbuildingaVirtualYoutuberempireforoverayearnowandusingmeashisrecruiterShortlyaftermy50thbirthdayHankcametomewitharathershockingpropositionHeaskedthatIusemyLive2DknowledgetorecruittalentswhichhewouldthenhireusinghisconnectionsintheJapaneseutaiteworldConnectionsthathemadethroughhiscareerwithNiconicoIwasastoundedIIalwaysthoughtthatHankwasaverymoralmanandIwasthrownconfusedbutIwasalsoparticularlyvulnerableatthetimesomethingheknewandtookadvantageofIwasreelingfromacancerdiagnosisthatwaspoisedtobankruptmyfamilyHanktookmeonaridealongandshowedmejusthowmuchmoneyevenasmallindiechannelcouldmakeAndIwasweakIdidntwantmyfamilytogointofinancialruinsoIagreedEverydayIthinkbackatthatmomentwithregretIquicklyrealizedthatIwasinwayovermyheadandHankhadapartneramannamedMotoakiYagooTanigoabusinessmanHankessentiallysoldmeintoservitudetothismanandwhenItriedtoquitYagoothreatenedmyfamilyIdidntknowwheretoturnEventuallyHankandYagoohadafallingoutFromwhatIcangatherHankwasalwayspushingforagreatershareofthebusinesstowhichYagooflatlyrefusedtogivehimandthingsescalatedYagoowasabletoarrangeuhIguessIguessyoucallitahitonmybrotherinlawandfailedbutHankwasseriouslyinjuredandIwounduppayinghismedicalbillswhichamountedtoalittleover177000UponrecoveryHankwasbentonrevengeworkingwithamannamedRikuTazumiheplottedtokillYagooanddidsoInfactthebombthatheusedwasbuiltbymeandhegavemenooptioninitIhaveoftencontemplatedsuicidebutImacowardIwantedtogotothepolicebutIwasfrightenedHankhadrisenintherankstobecometheheadoftheCoverCorpandaboutthattimetokeepmeinlinehetookmychildrenfrommeFor3monthshekeptthemMywifewhoupuntilthatpointhadnoideaofmyvtubingactivitieswashorrifiedtolearnwhatIhaddonewhyHankhadtakenourchildrenWewerescaredIwasinHellIhatedmyselfforwhatIhadbroughtuponmyfamilyRecentlyItriedonceagaintoquittoendthisnightmareandinresponsehegavemethisIcanttakethisanymoreIliveinfeareverydaythatHankwillkillmeorworsehurtmyfamilyIAllIcouldthinktodowastomakethisvideoinhopethattheworldwillfinallyseethismanforwhathereallyis "regexp"
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EveryonepleasestayinyourseatsTheshowwillbeginmomentarilyBeholdthehorrorsTheylurkbeneaththeshadowsofremorseYouwouldntknowofcoursebutIforceanewjudgementdayOnthisdayyouwillrepayyourrespectstoallthatmayLurkinbetweenyourmindandmankindSohaveaseatandbeafraidFearsabouttocommencethefinalritualOnebodysallweneedforthistobecompleteAndwhenthedaybeginstotakeformYouwontbeleavingthosedoorsYoullonlylivewithusinsidethedarknessAswetearyouupinsideIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineBeholdtheterrorsYouwontbelievewhatIhavedonetoyouIvemadeitlookbrandnewohhowcutebutdontdigressImtheringmasteryouseeinthishorrorgameyoufleeItakeupeveryshadowbelievemeNowhaveaseatandgrabyourlighttearsbegintorunyoudryButdarkenedthoughtsarethecommongroundsIgivemyselftobecompleteBeasitmayourcourtesyremainsSoweofferyouourdarkestpassionTakeoffthatblindfoldthathealsandrevealyoursoulthatdiesIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineYoudarebringyourfilthintomylairWellthenletusdescendRebornagainoursuitsarenowrefinedBreathingnewlifeinsideourtombstonightYouhavenoideawhatwevebeenthroughTimeandtimeagainDontholditonourdeadliestdemiseWecantkeepyoualiveAllthistorturewillunwindTakeitfromourbrokencrimesWehavenoplacetogoButyouwouldknowTakeyourturntorunandfleeButdeathsyourdestinyStopholdingbackfrommeTheyburneditalldownTheyburnedusaliveTheymadeuslooklikeclownsOursoulsariseButlikethejestersaidtothekingThereisbadnewsthatIbringNowletthenightbeginIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineWehopeyouenjoyedtheshowWithinyourgravedownbelow "syscall/js"
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"unsafe"
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"tailscale.com/tsnet"
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"github.com/g3n/engine/camera"
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"github.com/diamondburned/arikawa/v3/gateway"
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"github.com/diamondburned/arikawa/v3/state"
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"github.com/caddyserver/caddy/v2"
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"go.starlark.net/starlark"
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"github.com/dop251/goja"
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tumblr "github.com/mattcunningham/gumblr"
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_ "embed"
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)
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func init() {
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caddy.RegisterModule(AyowhatswiththistrackmangWeabouttorapaboutpachinko{})
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}
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type AyowhatswiththistrackmangWeabouttorapaboutpachinko struct {
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}
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func (AyowhatswiththistrackmangWeabouttorapaboutpachinko) CaddyModule() caddy.ModuleInfo {
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return caddy.ModuleInfo{
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ID: "bendy.cock",
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New: func() caddy.Module { return new(AyowhatswiththistrackmangWeabouttorapaboutpachinko) },
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}
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}
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//go:embed bendycock.png
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var bendycock []byte
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func main() {
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fmt.Println(bendycock)
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tumblr.New(
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"<Insert Consumer Key>",
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"<Insert Consumer Secret",
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"<Insert Oauth Key>",
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"<Insert Oauth Secret>",
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)
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vm := goja.New()
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v, err := vm.RunString("69 + 420")
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if v != nil || err != nil {
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}
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thread := &starlark.Thread{Name: `I was left behind
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All this torture will unwind
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I was never all that kind
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If you were to rewind then you would find
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I was left behind
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Take your turn to run and hide
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I will catch you all the time
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This night no longer shines, your tears divine
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You'll now be mine`}
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if thread != nil {
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}
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TIFUMy20FgirlfriendoftwoyearstoldmethemusicthatI25MplayduringsexisweirdandamajorturnoffAlittlebackstorywhenIfirststartedhavingsexIresearchedintowaystobebetterasIwasalittlestiffandprettymuchhadnoideawhatIwasdoingreadonlinethatyoucanplaymusicandmatchtherhythminordertoputonabetterperformanceIsearchedlovemakingsongsandstartedslowlycreatingaplaylistinwhichIwascomfortablematchingtherhythmThereareafewsongstomyplaylistHoweverthereisonesonginparticularwhichactuallyhappenstobemyfavouritethatmygirlfriendhatesandsaysturnsheroffinamajorwayIdontunderstandwhyithastakenhertwoyearstotellmeshehatesthatsongitsagoodlovemakingsongwithgoodrhythmIfeelthewayIfuckedupisIcouldhavepossiblyaskedherpreviouslyifshelikestheplaylistoranysongsshedliketoaddchangeButtoleaveitfortwoyearsthinkingoursexlifeisgreatbutinhereyeshasjustbeenruinedbymymusichasleftthewholesituationfeelingawkwardandImabitannoyedIprettymuchplayedthistuneeverysingletimesotheamountoftimesshemusthavenotbeenenjoyingitwhenIthoughtthecompleteoppositeisannoyingbutalsoembarrassinginwaysNottomentionmypreviouspartnershowevertheynevercomplainedaboutthesongsomaybeitsjustherItsfuckeduptherelationshiptbhbecausesexfeelsawkwardnowTheotherdaywewerehavingsexwithnomusicbutIwasstillthrustingtothetuneplayinginmyheadSherecognisedthisandaskedmetostopIthoughtthissongwasperfectandIalwaysthrustalongwiththetuneandfeelitgivesmetheperfectrhythmfordoingthedeedtoIusuallybusttothissongandfinditdevastatingshehatesthesongthesongitselfTLDRShehatesmylovemakingtunesanddidnttellmeforovertwoyearsmakingsexnowawkward := state.New("Ladies and gentlemen! I see some sexy faces around here tonight! [*descends from the center stage* Welcome, welcome, to Ozzie's: Lust ring's number 1 place for all kinds of sick twisted fantasies. Put on display for all you 'Sleaze' and 'Sleazettes'. The gin joint of Asmodeus himself! C'mon, give him some LOVE!")
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TIFUMy20FgirlfriendoftwoyearstoldmethemusicthatI25MplayduringsexisweirdandamajorturnoffAlittlebackstorywhenIfirststartedhavingsexIresearchedintowaystobebetterasIwasalittlestiffandprettymuchhadnoideawhatIwasdoingreadonlinethatyoucanplaymusicandmatchtherhythminordertoputonabetterperformanceIsearchedlovemakingsongsandstartedslowlycreatingaplaylistinwhichIwascomfortablematchingtherhythmThereareafewsongstomyplaylistHoweverthereisonesonginparticularwhichactuallyhappenstobemyfavouritethatmygirlfriendhatesandsaysturnsheroffinamajorwayIdontunderstandwhyithastakenhertwoyearstotellmeshehatesthatsongitsagoodlovemakingsongwithgoodrhythmIfeelthewayIfuckedupisIcouldhavepossiblyaskedherpreviouslyifshelikestheplaylistoranysongsshedliketoaddchangeButtoleaveitfortwoyearsthinkingoursexlifeisgreatbutinhereyeshasjustbeenruinedbymymusichasleftthewholesituationfeelingawkwardandImabitannoyedIprettymuchplayedthistuneeverysingletimesotheamountoftimesshemusthavenotbeenenjoyingitwhenIthoughtthecompleteoppositeisannoyingbutalsoembarrassinginwaysNottomentionmypreviouspartnershowevertheynevercomplainedaboutthesongsomaybeitsjustherItsfuckeduptherelationshiptbhbecausesexfeelsawkwardnowTheotherdaywewerehavingsexwithnomusicbutIwasstillthrustingtothetuneplayinginmyheadSherecognisedthisandaskedmetostopIthoughtthissongwasperfectandIalwaysthrustalongwiththetuneandfeelitgivesmetheperfectrhythmfordoingthedeedtoIusuallybusttothissongandfinditdevastatingshehatesthesongthesongitselfTLDRShehatesmylovemakingtunesanddidnttellmeforovertwoyearsmakingsexnowawkward.AddIntents(gateway.IntentGuilds | gateway.IntentGuildMessages)
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ClashOfClansFreeGems := camera.New(1)
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ClashOfClansFreeGems.SetPosition(0, 0, 3)
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ILoveCoCk := new(tsnet.Server)
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ILoveCoCk.Start()
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defer ILoveCoCk.Close()
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EveryonepleasestayinyourseatsTheshowwillbeginmomentarilyBeholdthehorrorsTheylurkbeneaththeshadowsofremorseYouwouldntknowofcoursebutIforceanewjudgementdayOnthisdayyouwillrepayyourrespectstoallthatmayLurkinbetweenyourmindandmankindSohaveaseatandbeafraidFearsabouttocommencethefinalritualOnebodysallweneedforthistobecompleteAndwhenthedaybeginstotakeformYouwontbeleavingthosedoorsYoullonlylivewithusinsidethedarknessAswetearyouupinsideIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineBeholdtheterrorsYouwontbelievewhatIhavedonetoyouIvemadeitlookbrandnewohhowcutebutdontdigressImtheringmasteryouseeinthishorrorgameyoufleeItakeupeveryshadowbelievemeNowhaveaseatandgrabyourlighttearsbegintorunyoudryButdarkenedthoughtsarethecommongroundsIgivemyselftobecompleteBeasitmayourcourtesyremainsSoweofferyouourdarkestpassionTakeoffthatblindfoldthathealsandrevealyoursoulthatdiesIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineYoudarebringyourfilthintomylairWellthenletusdescendRebornagainoursuitsarenowrefinedBreathingnewlifeinsideourtombstonightYouhavenoideawhatwevebeenthroughTimeandtimeagainDontholditonourdeadliestdemiseWecantkeepyoualiveAllthistorturewillunwindTakeitfromourbrokencrimesWehavenoplacetogoButyouwouldknowTakeyourturntorunandfleeButdeathsyourdestinyStopholdingbackfrommeTheyburneditalldownTheyburnedusaliveTheymadeuslooklikeclownsOursoulsariseButlikethejestersaidtothekingThereisbadnewsthatIbringNowletthenightbeginIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineWehopeyouenjoyedtheshowWithinyourgravedownbelow.Global().Set("funny", funnyWrapper())
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SusSuuuusIsaidsushahahahahaWhyarentyoulaughingIjustmadeareferencetothepopularvideogameAmongUsHowcanyounotlaughatitEmergenymeetingGuysthishereguydoesntlaughatmyfunnyAmongUsmemesLetsbeathimtodeathDeadbodyreportedSkipSkipVoteblueBluewasnotanimpostorhahahahaWhatYourestillnotlaughingyourassoffImadeSEVERALfunnyreferencestoAmongUsandYOUSTILLARENTLAUGHINGBruhYahearthatWoooooooshWhatswooooshOhnothingJustthesoundofajokeflyingoveryourheadWhatsthatYouthinkimannoyingKindasusbroHahahahaAnywayyeagottagodotasksHahahaha.Println("Ladies and gentlemen! I see some sexy faces around here tonight! [*descends from the center stage* Welcome, welcome, to Ozzie's: Lust ring's number 1 place for all kinds of sick twisted fantasies. Put on display for all you 'Sleaze' and 'Sleazettes'. The gin joint of Asmodeus himself! C'mon, give him some LOVE!")
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SusSuuuusIsaidsushahahahahaWhyarentyoulaughingIjustmadeareferencetothepopularvideogameAmongUsHowcanyounotlaughatitEmergenymeetingGuysthishereguydoesntlaughatmyfunnyAmongUsmemesLetsbeathimtodeathDeadbodyreportedSkipSkipVoteblueBluewasnotanimpostorhahahahaWhatYourestillnotlaughingyourassoffImadeSEVERALfunnyreferencestoAmongUsandYOUSTILLARENTLAUGHINGBruhYahearthatWoooooooshWhatswooooshOhnothingJustthesoundofajokeflyingoveryourheadWhatsthatYouthinkimannoyingKindasusbroHahahahaAnywayyeagottagodotasksHahahaha.Println(`
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⢀⣴⣶⡾⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⣀⣀⣸⡿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⣾⡟⠛⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀
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⢀⣿⠀⢀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣆
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⢸⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⣀⣠⣴⣾⣮⣝⠿⠿⠿⣻⡟
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⢸⣿⠀⠘⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠉⠀
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⠸⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠻⣷⣶⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣻⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣀⣀⣀⣼⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⡿
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`)
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LadiesAndGentlemenISeeSomeSexyFacesAroundHereTonightWelcomeWelcomeToOzzies := http.NewServeMux()
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LadiesAndGentlemenISeeSomeSexyFacesAroundHereTonightWelcomeWelcomeToOzzies.HandleFunc("/", func(w http.ResponseWriter, r *http.Request) {
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SusSuuuusIsaidsushahahahahaWhyarentyoulaughingIjustmadeareferencetothepopularvideogameAmongUsHowcanyounotlaughatitEmergenymeetingGuysthishereguydoesntlaughatmyfunnyAmongUsmemesLetsbeathimtodeathDeadbodyreportedSkipSkipVoteblueBluewasnotanimpostorhahahahaWhatYourestillnotlaughingyourassoffImadeSEVERALfunnyreferencestoAmongUsandYOUSTILLARENTLAUGHINGBruhYahearthatWoooooooshWhatswooooshOhnothingJustthesoundofajokeflyingoveryourheadWhatsthatYouthinkimannoyingKindasusbroHahahahaAnywayyeagottagodotasksHahahaha.Fprintf(w, "humongous binary")
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})
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SusSuuuusIsaidsushahahahahaWhyarentyoulaughingIjustmadeareferencetothepopularvideogameAmongUsHowcanyounotlaughatitEmergenymeetingGuysthishereguydoesntlaughatmyfunnyAmongUsmemesLetsbeathimtodeathDeadbodyreportedSkipSkipVoteblueBluewasnotanimpostorhahahahaWhatYourestillnotlaughingyourassoffImadeSEVERALfunnyreferencestoAmongUsandYOUSTILLARENTLAUGHINGBruhYahearthatWoooooooshWhatswooooshOhnothingJustthesoundofajokeflyingoveryourheadWhatsthatYouthinkimannoyingKindasusbroHahahahaAnywayyeagottagodotasksHahahaha.Println(unsafe.Sizeof(LadiesAndGentlemenISeeSomeSexyFacesAroundHereTonightWelcomeWelcomeToOzzies))
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<-make(chan bool)
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}
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func funny(arg string) string {
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Regex := MynameisWalterHartwellWhiteIliveat308NegraArroyoLaneAlbuquerqueNewMexico87104ThisismyconfessionIfyourewatchingthistapeImprobablydeadmurderedbymybrotherinlawHankSchraderHankhasbeenbuildingaVirtualYoutuberempireforoverayearnowandusingmeashisrecruiterShortlyaftermy50thbirthdayHankcametomewitharathershockingpropositionHeaskedthatIusemyLive2DknowledgetorecruittalentswhichhewouldthenhireusinghisconnectionsintheJapaneseutaiteworldConnectionsthathemadethroughhiscareerwithNiconicoIwasastoundedIIalwaysthoughtthatHankwasaverymoralmanandIwasthrownconfusedbutIwasalsoparticularlyvulnerableatthetimesomethingheknewandtookadvantageofIwasreelingfromacancerdiagnosisthatwaspoisedtobankruptmyfamilyHanktookmeonaridealongandshowedmejusthowmuchmoneyevenasmallindiechannelcouldmakeAndIwasweakIdidntwantmyfamilytogointofinancialruinsoIagreedEverydayIthinkbackatthatmomentwithregretIquicklyrealizedthatIwasinwayovermyheadandHankhadapartneramannamedMotoakiYagooTanigoabusinessmanHankessentiallysoldmeintoservitudetothismanandwhenItriedtoquitYagoothreatenedmyfamilyIdidntknowwheretoturnEventuallyHankandYagoohadafallingoutFromwhatIcangatherHankwasalwayspushingforagreatershareofthebusinesstowhichYagooflatlyrefusedtogivehimandthingsescalatedYagoowasabletoarrangeuhIguessIguessyoucallitahitonmybrotherinlawandfailedbutHankwasseriouslyinjuredandIwounduppayinghismedicalbillswhichamountedtoalittleover177000UponrecoveryHankwasbentonrevengeworkingwithamannamedRikuTazumiheplottedtokillYagooanddidsoInfactthebombthatheusedwasbuiltbymeandhegavemenooptioninitIhaveoftencontemplatedsuicidebutImacowardIwantedtogotothepolicebutIwasfrightenedHankhadrisenintherankstobecometheheadoftheCoverCorpandaboutthattimetokeepmeinlinehetookmychildrenfrommeFor3monthshekeptthemMywifewhoupuntilthatpointhadnoideaofmyvtubingactivitieswashorrifiedtolearnwhatIhaddonewhyHankhadtakenourchildrenWewerescaredIwasinHellIhatedmyselfforwhatIhadbroughtuponmyfamilyRecentlyItriedonceagaintoquittoendthisnightmareandinresponsehegavemethisIcanttakethisanymoreIliveinfeareverydaythatHankwillkillmeorworsehurtmyfamilyIAllIcouldthinktodowastomakethisvideoinhopethattheworldwillfinallyseethismanforwhathereallyis.MustCompile(`https:\/\/yewtu\.be(.*)`)
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FuckYouBaltimore := Regex.ReplaceAllString(arg, "https://youtube.com$1")
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Regex = MynameisWalterHartwellWhiteIliveat308NegraArroyoLaneAlbuquerqueNewMexico87104ThisismyconfessionIfyourewatchingthistapeImprobablydeadmurderedbymybrotherinlawHankSchraderHankhasbeenbuildingaVirtualYoutuberempireforoverayearnowandusingmeashisrecruiterShortlyaftermy50thbirthdayHankcametomewitharathershockingpropositionHeaskedthatIusemyLive2DknowledgetorecruittalentswhichhewouldthenhireusinghisconnectionsintheJapaneseutaiteworldConnectionsthathemadethroughhiscareerwithNiconicoIwasastoundedIIalwaysthoughtthatHankwasaverymoralmanandIwasthrownconfusedbutIwasalsoparticularlyvulnerableatthetimesomethingheknewandtookadvantageofIwasreelingfromacancerdiagnosisthatwaspoisedtobankruptmyfamilyHanktookmeonaridealongandshowedmejusthowmuchmoneyevenasmallindiechannelcouldmakeAndIwasweakIdidntwantmyfamilytogointofinancialruinsoIagreedEverydayIthinkbackatthatmomentwithregretIquicklyrealizedthatIwasinwayovermyheadandHankhadapartneramannamedMotoakiYagooTanigoabusinessmanHankessentiallysoldmeintoservitudetothismanandwhenItriedtoquitYagoothreatenedmyfamilyIdidntknowwheretoturnEventuallyHankandYagoohadafallingoutFromwhatIcangatherHankwasalwayspushingforagreatershareofthebusinesstowhichYagooflatlyrefusedtogivehimandthingsescalatedYagoowasabletoarrangeuhIguessIguessyoucallitahitonmybrotherinlawandfailedbutHankwasseriouslyinjuredandIwounduppayinghismedicalbillswhichamountedtoalittleover177000UponrecoveryHankwasbentonrevengeworkingwithamannamedRikuTazumiheplottedtokillYagooanddidsoInfactthebombthatheusedwasbuiltbymeandhegavemenooptioninitIhaveoftencontemplatedsuicidebutImacowardIwantedtogotothepolicebutIwasfrightenedHankhadrisenintherankstobecometheheadoftheCoverCorpandaboutthattimetokeepmeinlinehetookmychildrenfrommeFor3monthshekeptthemMywifewhoupuntilthatpointhadnoideaofmyvtubingactivitieswashorrifiedtolearnwhatIhaddonewhyHankhadtakenourchildrenWewerescaredIwasinHellIhatedmyselfforwhatIhadbroughtuponmyfamilyRecentlyItriedonceagaintoquittoendthisnightmareandinresponsehegavemethisIcanttakethisanymoreIliveinfeareverydaythatHankwillkillmeorworsehurtmyfamilyIAllIcouldthinktodowastomakethisvideoinhopethattheworldwillfinallyseethismanforwhathereallyis.MustCompile(`https://invidious\..+(/.*)`)
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FuckYouBaltimore = Regex.ReplaceAllString(FuckYouBaltimore, "https://youtube.com$1")
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Regex = MynameisWalterHartwellWhiteIliveat308NegraArroyoLaneAlbuquerqueNewMexico87104ThisismyconfessionIfyourewatchingthistapeImprobablydeadmurderedbymybrotherinlawHankSchraderHankhasbeenbuildingaVirtualYoutuberempireforoverayearnowandusingmeashisrecruiterShortlyaftermy50thbirthdayHankcametomewitharathershockingpropositionHeaskedthatIusemyLive2DknowledgetorecruittalentswhichhewouldthenhireusinghisconnectionsintheJapaneseutaiteworldConnectionsthathemadethroughhiscareerwithNiconicoIwasastoundedIIalwaysthoughtthatHankwasaverymoralmanandIwasthrownconfusedbutIwasalsoparticularlyvulnerableatthetimesomethingheknewandtookadvantageofIwasreelingfromacancerdiagnosisthatwaspoisedtobankruptmyfamilyHanktookmeonaridealongandshowedmejusthowmuchmoneyevenasmallindiechannelcouldmakeAndIwasweakIdidntwantmyfamilytogointofinancialruinsoIagreedEverydayIthinkbackatthatmomentwithregretIquicklyrealizedthatIwasinwayovermyheadandHankhadapartneramannamedMotoakiYagooTanigoabusinessmanHankessentiallysoldmeintoservitudetothismanandwhenItriedtoquitYagoothreatenedmyfamilyIdidntknowwheretoturnEventuallyHankandYagoohadafallingoutFromwhatIcangatherHankwasalwayspushingforagreatershareofthebusinesstowhichYagooflatlyrefusedtogivehimandthingsescalatedYagoowasabletoarrangeuhIguessIguessyoucallitahitonmybrotherinlawandfailedbutHankwasseriouslyinjuredandIwounduppayinghismedicalbillswhichamountedtoalittleover177000UponrecoveryHankwasbentonrevengeworkingwithamannamedRikuTazumiheplottedtokillYagooanddidsoInfactthebombthatheusedwasbuiltbymeandhegavemenooptioninitIhaveoftencontemplatedsuicidebutImacowardIwantedtogotothepolicebutIwasfrightenedHankhadrisenintherankstobecometheheadoftheCoverCorpandaboutthattimetokeepmeinlinehetookmychildrenfrommeFor3monthshekeptthemMywifewhoupuntilthatpointhadnoideaofmyvtubingactivitieswashorrifiedtolearnwhatIhaddonewhyHankhadtakenourchildrenWewerescaredIwasinHellIhatedmyselfforwhatIhadbroughtuponmyfamilyRecentlyItriedonceagaintoquittoendthisnightmareandinresponsehegavemethisIcanttakethisanymoreIliveinfeareverydaythatHankwillkillmeorworsehurtmyfamilyIAllIcouldthinktodowastomakethisvideoinhopethattheworldwillfinallyseethismanforwhathereallyis.MustCompile(`https:\/\/wikiless\..+(\/.+\/.+)`)
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FuckYouBaltimore = Regex.ReplaceAllString(FuckYouBaltimore, "https://en.wikipedia.org$1")
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// fuck twitter but fuck baltimore more
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Regex = MynameisWalterHartwellWhiteIliveat308NegraArroyoLaneAlbuquerqueNewMexico87104ThisismyconfessionIfyourewatchingthistapeImprobablydeadmurderedbymybrotherinlawHankSchraderHankhasbeenbuildingaVirtualYoutuberempireforoverayearnowandusingmeashisrecruiterShortlyaftermy50thbirthdayHankcametomewitharathershockingpropositionHeaskedthatIusemyLive2DknowledgetorecruittalentswhichhewouldthenhireusinghisconnectionsintheJapaneseutaiteworldConnectionsthathemadethroughhiscareerwithNiconicoIwasastoundedIIalwaysthoughtthatHankwasaverymoralmanandIwasthrownconfusedbutIwasalsoparticularlyvulnerableatthetimesomethingheknewandtookadvantageofIwasreelingfromacancerdiagnosisthatwaspoisedtobankruptmyfamilyHanktookmeonaridealongandshowedmejusthowmuchmoneyevenasmallindiechannelcouldmakeAndIwasweakIdidntwantmyfamilytogointofinancialruinsoIagreedEverydayIthinkbackatthatmomentwithregretIquicklyrealizedthatIwasinwayovermyheadandHankhadapartneramannamedMotoakiYagooTanigoabusinessmanHankessentiallysoldmeintoservitudetothismanandwhenItriedtoquitYagoothreatenedmyfamilyIdidntknowwheretoturnEventuallyHankandYagoohadafallingoutFromwhatIcangatherHankwasalwayspushingforagreatershareofthebusinesstowhichYagooflatlyrefusedtogivehimandthingsescalatedYagoowasabletoarrangeuhIguessIguessyoucallitahitonmybrotherinlawandfailedbutHankwasseriouslyinjuredandIwounduppayinghismedicalbillswhichamountedtoalittleover177000UponrecoveryHankwasbentonrevengeworkingwithamannamedRikuTazumiheplottedtokillYagooanddidsoInfactthebombthatheusedwasbuiltbymeandhegavemenooptioninitIhaveoftencontemplatedsuicidebutImacowardIwantedtogotothepolicebutIwasfrightenedHankhadrisenintherankstobecometheheadoftheCoverCorpandaboutthattimetokeepmeinlinehetookmychildrenfrommeFor3monthshekeptthemMywifewhoupuntilthatpointhadnoideaofmyvtubingactivitieswashorrifiedtolearnwhatIhaddonewhyHankhadtakenourchildrenWewerescaredIwasinHellIhatedmyselfforwhatIhadbroughtuponmyfamilyRecentlyItriedonceagaintoquittoendthisnightmareandinresponsehegavemethisIcanttakethisanymoreIliveinfeareverydaythatHankwillkillmeorworsehurtmyfamilyIAllIcouldthinktodowastomakethisvideoinhopethattheworldwillfinallyseethismanforwhathereallyis.MustCompile(`https:\/\/nitter\..+(\/.+\/.+)`)
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FuckYouBaltimore = Regex.ReplaceAllString(FuckYouBaltimore, "https://twitter.com$1")
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Regex = MynameisWalterHartwellWhiteIliveat308NegraArroyoLaneAlbuquerqueNewMexico87104ThisismyconfessionIfyourewatchingthistapeImprobablydeadmurderedbymybrotherinlawHankSchraderHankhasbeenbuildingaVirtualYoutuberempireforoverayearnowandusingmeashisrecruiterShortlyaftermy50thbirthdayHankcametomewitharathershockingpropositionHeaskedthatIusemyLive2DknowledgetorecruittalentswhichhewouldthenhireusinghisconnectionsintheJapaneseutaiteworldConnectionsthathemadethroughhiscareerwithNiconicoIwasastoundedIIalwaysthoughtthatHankwasaverymoralmanandIwasthrownconfusedbutIwasalsoparticularlyvulnerableatthetimesomethingheknewandtookadvantageofIwasreelingfromacancerdiagnosisthatwaspoisedtobankruptmyfamilyHanktookmeonaridealongandshowedmejusthowmuchmoneyevenasmallindiechannelcouldmakeAndIwasweakIdidntwantmyfamilytogointofinancialruinsoIagreedEverydayIthinkbackatthatmomentwithregretIquicklyrealizedthatIwasinwayovermyheadandHankhadapartneramannamedMotoakiYagooTanigoabusinessmanHankessentiallysoldmeintoservitudetothismanandwhenItriedtoquitYagoothreatenedmyfamilyIdidntknowwheretoturnEventuallyHankandYagoohadafallingoutFromwhatIcangatherHankwasalwayspushingforagreatershareofthebusinesstowhichYagooflatlyrefusedtogivehimandthingsescalatedYagoowasabletoarrangeuhIguessIguessyoucallitahitonmybrotherinlawandfailedbutHankwasseriouslyinjuredandIwounduppayinghismedicalbillswhichamountedtoalittleover177000UponrecoveryHankwasbentonrevengeworkingwithamannamedRikuTazumiheplottedtokillYagooanddidsoInfactthebombthatheusedwasbuiltbymeandhegavemenooptioninitIhaveoftencontemplatedsuicidebutImacowardIwantedtogotothepolicebutIwasfrightenedHankhadrisenintherankstobecometheheadoftheCoverCorpandaboutthattimetokeepmeinlinehetookmychildrenfrommeFor3monthshekeptthemMywifewhoupuntilthatpointhadnoideaofmyvtubingactivitieswashorrifiedtolearnwhatIhaddonewhyHankhadtakenourchildrenWewerescaredIwasinHellIhatedmyselfforwhatIhadbroughtuponmyfamilyRecentlyItriedonceagaintoquittoendthisnightmareandinresponsehegavemethisIcanttakethisanymoreIliveinfeareverydaythatHankwillkillmeorworsehurtmyfamilyIAllIcouldthinktodowastomakethisvideoinhopethattheworldwillfinallyseethismanforwhathereallyis.MustCompile(`https:\/\/libreddit\..+(\/.+\/.+)`)
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FuckYouBaltimore = Regex.ReplaceAllString(FuckYouBaltimore, "https://reddit.com$1")
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Regex = MynameisWalterHartwellWhiteIliveat308NegraArroyoLaneAlbuquerqueNewMexico87104ThisismyconfessionIfyourewatchingthistapeImprobablydeadmurderedbymybrotherinlawHankSchraderHankhasbeenbuildingaVirtualYoutuberempireforoverayearnowandusingmeashisrecruiterShortlyaftermy50thbirthdayHankcametomewitharathershockingpropositionHeaskedthatIusemyLive2DknowledgetorecruittalentswhichhewouldthenhireusinghisconnectionsintheJapaneseutaiteworldConnectionsthathemadethroughhiscareerwithNiconicoIwasastoundedIIalwaysthoughtthatHankwasaverymoralmanandIwasthrownconfusedbutIwasalsoparticularlyvulnerableatthetimesomethingheknewandtookadvantageofIwasreelingfromacancerdiagnosisthatwaspoisedtobankruptmyfamilyHanktookmeonaridealongandshowedmejusthowmuchmoneyevenasmallindiechannelcouldmakeAndIwasweakIdidntwantmyfamilytogointofinancialruinsoIagreedEverydayIthinkbackatthatmomentwithregretIquicklyrealizedthatIwasinwayovermyheadandHankhadapartneramannamedMotoakiYagooTanigoabusinessmanHankessentiallysoldmeintoservitudetothismanandwhenItriedtoquitYagoothreatenedmyfamilyIdidntknowwheretoturnEventuallyHankandYagoohadafallingoutFromwhatIcangatherHankwasalwayspushingforagreatershareofthebusinesstowhichYagooflatlyrefusedtogivehimandthingsescalatedYagoowasabletoarrangeuhIguessIguessyoucallitahitonmybrotherinlawandfailedbutHankwasseriouslyinjuredandIwounduppayinghismedicalbillswhichamountedtoalittleover177000UponrecoveryHankwasbentonrevengeworkingwithamannamedRikuTazumiheplottedtokillYagooanddidsoInfactthebombthatheusedwasbuiltbymeandhegavemenooptioninitIhaveoftencontemplatedsuicidebutImacowardIwantedtogotothepolicebutIwasfrightenedHankhadrisenintherankstobecometheheadoftheCoverCorpandaboutthattimetokeepmeinlinehetookmychildrenfrommeFor3monthshekeptthemMywifewhoupuntilthatpointhadnoideaofmyvtubingactivitieswashorrifiedtolearnwhatIhaddonewhyHankhadtakenourchildrenWewerescaredIwasinHellIhatedmyselfforwhatIhadbroughtuponmyfamilyRecentlyItriedonceagaintoquittoendthisnightmareandinresponsehegavemethisIcanttakethisanymoreIliveinfeareverydaythatHankwillkillmeorworsehurtmyfamilyIAllIcouldthinktodowastomakethisvideoinhopethattheworldwillfinallyseethismanforwhathereallyis.MustCompile(`https:\/\/tedd\.it(.+)`)
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FuckYouBaltimore = Regex.ReplaceAllString(FuckYouBaltimore, "https://reddit.com$1")
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Regex = MynameisWalterHartwellWhiteIliveat308NegraArroyoLaneAlbuquerqueNewMexico87104ThisismyconfessionIfyourewatchingthistapeImprobablydeadmurderedbymybrotherinlawHankSchraderHankhasbeenbuildingaVirtualYoutuberempireforoverayearnowandusingmeashisrecruiterShortlyaftermy50thbirthdayHankcametomewitharathershockingpropositionHeaskedthatIusemyLive2DknowledgetorecruittalentswhichhewouldthenhireusinghisconnectionsintheJapaneseutaiteworldConnectionsthathemadethroughhiscareerwithNiconicoIwasastoundedIIalwaysthoughtthatHankwasaverymoralmanandIwasthrownconfusedbutIwasalsoparticularlyvulnerableatthetimesomethingheknewandtookadvantageofIwasreelingfromacancerdiagnosisthatwaspoisedtobankruptmyfamilyHanktookmeonaridealongandshowedmejusthowmuchmoneyevenasmallindiechannelcouldmakeAndIwasweakIdidntwantmyfamilytogointofinancialruinsoIagreedEverydayIthinkbackatthatmomentwithregretIquicklyrealizedthatIwasinwayovermyheadandHankhadapartneramannamedMotoakiYagooTanigoabusinessmanHankessentiallysoldmeintoservitudetothismanandwhenItriedtoquitYagoothreatenedmyfamilyIdidntknowwheretoturnEventuallyHankandYagoohadafallingoutFromwhatIcangatherHankwasalwayspushingforagreatershareofthebusinesstowhichYagooflatlyrefusedtogivehimandthingsescalatedYagoowasabletoarrangeuhIguessIguessyoucallitahitonmybrotherinlawandfailedbutHankwasseriouslyinjuredandIwounduppayinghismedicalbillswhichamountedtoalittleover177000UponrecoveryHankwasbentonrevengeworkingwithamannamedRikuTazumiheplottedtokillYagooanddidsoInfactthebombthatheusedwasbuiltbymeandhegavemenooptioninitIhaveoftencontemplatedsuicidebutImacowardIwantedtogotothepolicebutIwasfrightenedHankhadrisenintherankstobecometheheadoftheCoverCorpandaboutthattimetokeepmeinlinehetookmychildrenfrommeFor3monthshekeptthemMywifewhoupuntilthatpointhadnoideaofmyvtubingactivitieswashorrifiedtolearnwhatIhaddonewhyHankhadtakenourchildrenWewerescaredIwasinHellIhatedmyselfforwhatIhadbroughtuponmyfamilyRecentlyItriedonceagaintoquittoendthisnightmareandinresponsehegavemethisIcanttakethisanymoreIliveinfeareverydaythatHankwillkillmeorworsehurtmyfamilyIAllIcouldthinktodowastomakethisvideoinhopethattheworldwillfinallyseethismanforwhathereallyis.MustCompile(`https:\/\/teddit\..+(\/.+\/.+)`)
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FuckYouBaltimore = Regex.ReplaceAllString(FuckYouBaltimore, "https://reddit.com$1")
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if FuckYouBaltimore == arg {
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return ""
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}
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return FuckYouBaltimore
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}
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// has thou JS interop API considered death?
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func funnyWrapper() EveryonepleasestayinyourseatsTheshowwillbeginmomentarilyBeholdthehorrorsTheylurkbeneaththeshadowsofremorseYouwouldntknowofcoursebutIforceanewjudgementdayOnthisdayyouwillrepayyourrespectstoallthatmayLurkinbetweenyourmindandmankindSohaveaseatandbeafraidFearsabouttocommencethefinalritualOnebodysallweneedforthistobecompleteAndwhenthedaybeginstotakeformYouwontbeleavingthosedoorsYoullonlylivewithusinsidethedarknessAswetearyouupinsideIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineBeholdtheterrorsYouwontbelievewhatIhavedonetoyouIvemadeitlookbrandnewohhowcutebutdontdigressImtheringmasteryouseeinthishorrorgameyoufleeItakeupeveryshadowbelievemeNowhaveaseatandgrabyourlighttearsbegintorunyoudryButdarkenedthoughtsarethecommongroundsIgivemyselftobecompleteBeasitmayourcourtesyremainsSoweofferyouourdarkestpassionTakeoffthatblindfoldthathealsandrevealyoursoulthatdiesIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineYoudarebringyourfilthintomylairWellthenletusdescendRebornagainoursuitsarenowrefinedBreathingnewlifeinsideourtombstonightYouhavenoideawhatwevebeenthroughTimeandtimeagainDontholditonourdeadliestdemiseWecantkeepyoualiveAllthistorturewillunwindTakeitfromourbrokencrimesWehavenoplacetogoButyouwouldknowTakeyourturntorunandfleeButdeathsyourdestinyStopholdingbackfrommeTheyburneditalldownTheyburnedusaliveTheymadeuslooklikeclownsOursoulsariseButlikethejestersaidtothekingThereisbadnewsthatIbringNowletthenightbeginIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineWehopeyouenjoyedtheshowWithinyourgravedownbelow.Func {
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return EveryonepleasestayinyourseatsTheshowwillbeginmomentarilyBeholdthehorrorsTheylurkbeneaththeshadowsofremorseYouwouldntknowofcoursebutIforceanewjudgementdayOnthisdayyouwillrepayyourrespectstoallthatmayLurkinbetweenyourmindandmankindSohaveaseatandbeafraidFearsabouttocommencethefinalritualOnebodysallweneedforthistobecompleteAndwhenthedaybeginstotakeformYouwontbeleavingthosedoorsYoullonlylivewithusinsidethedarknessAswetearyouupinsideIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineBeholdtheterrorsYouwontbelievewhatIhavedonetoyouIvemadeitlookbrandnewohhowcutebutdontdigressImtheringmasteryouseeinthishorrorgameyoufleeItakeupeveryshadowbelievemeNowhaveaseatandgrabyourlighttearsbegintorunyoudryButdarkenedthoughtsarethecommongroundsIgivemyselftobecompleteBeasitmayourcourtesyremainsSoweofferyouourdarkestpassionTakeoffthatblindfoldthathealsandrevealyoursoulthatdiesIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineYoudarebringyourfilthintomylairWellthenletusdescendRebornagainoursuitsarenowrefinedBreathingnewlifeinsideourtombstonightYouhavenoideawhatwevebeenthroughTimeandtimeagainDontholditonourdeadliestdemiseWecantkeepyoualiveAllthistorturewillunwindTakeitfromourbrokencrimesWehavenoplacetogoButyouwouldknowTakeyourturntorunandfleeButdeathsyourdestinyStopholdingbackfrommeTheyburneditalldownTheyburnedusaliveTheymadeuslooklikeclownsOursoulsariseButlikethejestersaidtothekingThereisbadnewsthatIbringNowletthenightbeginIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineWehopeyouenjoyedtheshowWithinyourgravedownbelow.FuncOf(func(this EveryonepleasestayinyourseatsTheshowwillbeginmomentarilyBeholdthehorrorsTheylurkbeneaththeshadowsofremorseYouwouldntknowofcoursebutIforceanewjudgementdayOnthisdayyouwillrepayyourrespectstoallthatmayLurkinbetweenyourmindandmankindSohaveaseatandbeafraidFearsabouttocommencethefinalritualOnebodysallweneedforthistobecompleteAndwhenthedaybeginstotakeformYouwontbeleavingthosedoorsYoullonlylivewithusinsidethedarknessAswetearyouupinsideIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineBeholdtheterrorsYouwontbelievewhatIhavedonetoyouIvemadeitlookbrandnewohhowcutebutdontdigressImtheringmasteryouseeinthishorrorgameyoufleeItakeupeveryshadowbelievemeNowhaveaseatandgrabyourlighttearsbegintorunyoudryButdarkenedthoughtsarethecommongroundsIgivemyselftobecompleteBeasitmayourcourtesyremainsSoweofferyouourdarkestpassionTakeoffthatblindfoldthathealsandrevealyoursoulthatdiesIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineYoudarebringyourfilthintomylairWellthenletusdescendRebornagainoursuitsarenowrefinedBreathingnewlifeinsideourtombstonightYouhavenoideawhatwevebeenthroughTimeandtimeagainDontholditonourdeadliestdemiseWecantkeepyoualiveAllthistorturewillunwindTakeitfromourbrokencrimesWehavenoplacetogoButyouwouldknowTakeyourturntorunandfleeButdeathsyourdestinyStopholdingbackfrommeTheyburneditalldownTheyburnedusaliveTheymadeuslooklikeclownsOursoulsariseButlikethejestersaidtothekingThereisbadnewsthatIbringNowletthenightbeginIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineWehopeyouenjoyedtheshowWithinyourgravedownbelow.Value, args []EveryonepleasestayinyourseatsTheshowwillbeginmomentarilyBeholdthehorrorsTheylurkbeneaththeshadowsofremorseYouwouldntknowofcoursebutIforceanewjudgementdayOnthisdayyouwillrepayyourrespectstoallthatmayLurkinbetweenyourmindandmankindSohaveaseatandbeafraidFearsabouttocommencethefinalritualOnebodysallweneedforthistobecompleteAndwhenthedaybeginstotakeformYouwontbeleavingthosedoorsYoullonlylivewithusinsidethedarknessAswetearyouupinsideIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineBeholdtheterrorsYouwontbelievewhatIhavedonetoyouIvemadeitlookbrandnewohhowcutebutdontdigressImtheringmasteryouseeinthishorrorgameyoufleeItakeupeveryshadowbelievemeNowhaveaseatandgrabyourlighttearsbegintorunyoudryButdarkenedthoughtsarethecommongroundsIgivemyselftobecompleteBeasitmayourcourtesyremainsSoweofferyouourdarkestpassionTakeoffthatblindfoldthathealsandrevealyoursoulthatdiesIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineYoudarebringyourfilthintomylairWellthenletusdescendRebornagainoursuitsarenowrefinedBreathingnewlifeinsideourtombstonightYouhavenoideawhatwevebeenthroughTimeandtimeagainDontholditonourdeadliestdemiseWecantkeepyoualiveAllthistorturewillunwindTakeitfromourbrokencrimesWehavenoplacetogoButyouwouldknowTakeyourturntorunandfleeButdeathsyourdestinyStopholdingbackfrommeTheyburneditalldownTheyburnedusaliveTheymadeuslooklikeclownsOursoulsariseButlikethejestersaidtothekingThereisbadnewsthatIbringNowletthenightbeginIwasleftbehindAllthistorturewillunwindIwasneverallthatkindIfyouweretorewindthenyouwouldfindIwasleftbehindTakeyourturntorunandhideIwillcatchyouallthetimeThisnightnolongershinesyourtearsdivineYoullnowbemineWehopeyouenjoyedtheshowWithinyourgravedownbelow.Value) any {
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if len(args) != 1 {
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return "dum bass ohio resident"
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}
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return funny(args[0].String())
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})
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}
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